The One Where I Ditch My Date

The One Where I Ditch My Date

I met a Christian guy on a dating app. We chatted back and forth via the app and decided to meet at Le Pain Quotidien on the Upper East Side in Manhattan. We sat down at the French café and he proceeded to order, asking if I would like any lunch. I ordered a pastry and cup of coffee. He was VERY upset that I didn’t want to eat a meal (it was 3pm??). He was sure to tell the waitress I would eat some of his (I didn’t). He smacked, loudly, throughout the date – talking with a mouth full of lox and capers.

He paid the tab, I thanked him for a “memorable” afternoon and began walking to the 6 train to go home. He followed, “I can take the 6, too – it’s not far out of the way.” “No, it’s okay,” I said, “I would rather go alone.” Instead, he followed me. Once on the train (me standing as far away from his as possible) he asked, loudly, “WHAT IS YOUR FACEBOOK? WHAT IS YOUR LAST NAME? MINE IS…..LOOK ME UP (I didn’t).”

And then I did the unthinkable – I ditched a date on the train. The doors opened at the busy station and I bolted to the next car over in the same train– all before the doors closed, leaving him behind thinking I was lost in the crowd. When I got out of the subway station, I had MANY texts from him wanting to plan the next date. I politely declined. His response was agitated at best, and honestly quite rude. He made some remark implying I would change my mind (I didn’t).

I think of that story from time to time and shake my head as I laugh. I KNEW well before we met that it was not going to work. For one thing, I could not decide if he was just a lazy texter, or illiterate. A professed Christ-follower, I learned quickly we had a different definition of what following Christ looks like. We had very little in common and while I was attracted to his profile pictures, I knew that was not going to carry us. That was confirmed as he spewed lox and capers on our date.

So why did I go? Maybe because I just wanted it to work. So badly.

Maybe it was wanting to be done with the profile swiping and have the NYC love story I’d seen in so many movies: “Small town girl moves to the big city and falls in love.”

Maybe it was the words of well-intentioned friends through the years ringing in my mind. Phrases like: “you are too picky” and “just give it a shot” and “put yourself out there”.

Maybe I was just listening to the world. Maybe I was just being impatient.

Here is the point: what is it in your life that you want to work so badly you are willing to compromise what you know to be true? What is it in your life you long for so much you are willing to try and force it – going against what you know God is saying?

Think about it, and then invite Him into it. BE HONEST with Him. He can take it, and He will love it. When you do, you will learn. You will grow closer to Him. And as your relationship with Him grows, you will be less and less swayed by the world (Eph 4:14).

As I think of this story - and many more like it, I realize the Lord has shown me more of who He is as I run to Him. He is:
Jehovah Jireh – the God who provides.
El Roi – The God who Sees.
Jehovah Nissi – My Banner, who goes before.

In the moments when it is so tempting to give in to what the world says, what the world expects – my prayer is that God would teach me more about who He is so I will be rooted and grounded in His love and truth.

As I grow, I am mindful the Lord does not waste anything. Not even bad dates. And so, I am giving it all to Him, knowing He is at work and trusting in His love that never fails.
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